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Cath Asks, "Do you feel that getting married, ...

Submitted by Bertie on Sat, 09/17/2011 - 12:02

having children has destroyed them emotionally,spiritually + finacially?Was the pain worth it? How many surgeries have you had? If it is between your ears and not your legs, then why did you do it? Have you had sex reassignment. Hope you can enlighten me.

Gabriele asks, "I have felt awkward talking about issues like periods, pads, bra shopping, and mammography with t-women. What ad

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 08:11

You sis-gender women (i.e. born as female identified given your unambiguous female genitilia) are the true experts in all this and we (the transwomen) hang on your every word and are so flattered by your acceptance of us (i.e. when you discuss uniquely female topics such as bras, pads and anything else of a female hygiene, dress, health, hygiene or eating custom, practice, tradition or ritual. We badly want to learn and you are our teachers. My list of male versus female social interaction differences continues to grow.

Luke asks, "How would you describe your post-transition feelings and emotions?"

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 08:04

Having come out and openly expressing my transgenderism is so liberating! First is being honest or true to yourself. But then the mostly warm acceptances I received from most friends and some family has been very encouraging. However, this journey I’m on may have no final destination so I am enjoying the ride. I know this new honesty which I don’t think is hormone induced is so uplifting. Imagine having a mild migraine, sore joints or a slight tummy ache most of your life and once your transition is underway you no longer have that ache or pain.

Kyle asks, "How does your gender identity relate to your baptismal identity?"

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 08:01

And I wrestled with a possible answer I might give to this tough question. But then one Sunday sitting in the pew as the preacher read the gospel for the day I had my answer. From I Corinthians, Chapter 12; Verses 13 & 14 he read, “For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free; and have been all made to drink into one Spirit.

Chuck asks, "What is the difference between being 'transgendered' and 'transgender'?"

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:59

Best to use “transgender” since “transgendered” is very out of fashion and rather akin to being homosexualized or maybe lesbianized. I find it interesting that the gender binary of “bisexual” is somewhat confusing since many experts feel that there are many more than just two genders and your fit is somewhere on the gender spectrum and not one or the other.

Steve asks, "When did you first become aware that you were 'different'? At what point did you understand 'how' you were differen

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:56

I think around twelve or thirteen when puberty hits most kids I felt my view of my gender was different than my male buddies. Being fascinated by my mother’s clothing and then trying some on somewhat sealed the deal – if you will. While I thought I was the only person alive feeling that way it was in my late teens that I first became aware of cross-dressed individuals and then in my early twenties I actually saw some MTF transgenders in NYC. It was so exciting since this was the early seventies. At to when you realize how different you are I’m not sure you or your therapist ever really knows.

Geri asks, "What percentage of transgenders decide to have surgery - facial and/or reassignment (Is that the appropriate term?)?

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:52

So let’s start here; some definitions I like. Gender is what’s between your ears and sex is what’s between your legs. And I for one think by definition the true transgender desires surgery of some sort – face or genital or other. However, is very expensive and whereas most all want it few can pay the price. Here are some numbers to consider. SF’s population is about 800,000 and whereas the national average for trans folks in any given population is about 1% I think SF being the gender/sex deviant, alternative life-style accepting place it is I think the trans population may be 3% or higher.

Dale asks, "When was the time you felt most welcome as a ''"?

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:45

As I was welcomed, received, supported, included as a valuable member of St. Mark’s Lutheran Church and Davies Symphony Hall where I volunteer as well as by my younger son, sister and several old friends who quickly began calling me “Bertie” and using the correct pronouns. When I phoned my sister a year ago and told her I was coming for a visit and something big to tell her she was most relieved by my news since she’d prepared herself to hear I had prostate cancer or a brain tumor.

Ed asks, "How do you deal with hostility and hurtful speech?"

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:40

We should consider the sources which may likely be teenage boys, drunks and others less enlightened. Not only threatening physically they might also have a weapon of some kind. So I try to be very tolerant, far from being provocative and very passive.

Israel asks, "When and how does a trans person know when they are trans?"

Submitted by Bertie on Sun, 07/17/2011 - 07:37

I think each of us has a different answer. Personally I was maybe five or six and had a strong desire to wear girls’ clothes but given the era and where I was there was no possibility of considering a gender change. While I have read that many transgender feel they are in the wrong body I didn’t but did feel I wanted to be one of those females I carefully watched.

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